SWEET SILENCE

For the first few minutes, the silence seemed to Wufei painful and strained. He was afraid of ruining this silence, afraid of provoking the other boy to say unnecessary words of compassion and understanding. His emotions halted, crystallizing into a dangerous state of the final countdown before an explosion. Yet Trowa didn't try to talk to him just sat there, and gradually the silence became comfortable and soothing. Wufei took a deep breath, concentrating on his stirring emotions. If only he could make those voices of hurt and despair go away, could banish them into the deepest corner of his mind - then he would be able to try and survive this night. Later, he would have to go back to these feelings, and then it would be even worse. He knew it but now, when his wounded pride called for his mind that struggled for answers, the only way was to try and forget. At least for a while, for a few hours, in hope that it would be enough not to go mad.

Partly he succeeded; looking at the flame of the fire, enthralled, he little by little calmed down enough to be able to stop his thoughts that threatened to take a dangerous path. But he still lacked the mental power to go into the healing trance. In this battle with his own consciousness he spent the rest of the evening.

Simple food resurrected his physical strength but tiredness was taking its toll. Wufei's eyes closed, his head drooped on the chest in exhaustion. Swaying, he roused himself abruptly, opened his eyes with an effort and saw Trowa watch him intently. At the next moment Trowa got up and made him a sign to follow. Wufei nodded curtly and walked after him, away from the fire, to the small circus van.

A small cot didn't look spacious enough for them both and Wufei looked around the tiny room, wondering where he could settle down on the floor. Meanwhile Trowa quickly discarded his shoes, took off the jeans together with the socks and peeled off his clinging sweater. Just in the underwear, he got on the cot, his back to the wall, and patted the free space in front of himself with a welcoming gesture.

Reevaluating the size of the cot, Wufei decided that there probably was enough room for him as well. Besides, it came to his mind that if he tried to insist on sleeping on the floor, it would end up with Trowa sleeping there; he didn't have enough strength to argue now. Wufei undressed and lay down on the edge, turning his back to Trowa. The boy covered them both with a blanket and hooked an arm around Wufei to keep him from sliding down from the narrow cot in sleep. Wufei closed his eyes hoping to fall asleep as soon as possible.

If a few hours ago he hadn't left the Gundam, his Dragon Fang would've solved so many problems just within seconds. But he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for that...

Wufei flinched violently, gritted his teeth. His thoughts had taken a wrong path again, bothering him, thwarting his sleep. And almost at once he felt how Trowa patted his belly comfortingly. Wufei turned quickly and pressed to Trowa, burying his nose in the other's shoulder. He wasn't going to cry as he clung to his unexpected ally convulsively. He just felt he couldn't cope with his emotions; he needed someone near, as a guarantee of stability.

Trowa stroked Wufei's back in wide circling motions, and this light massage turned out to be something wonderfully relaxing, distracting from the harmful thoughts. Then Trowa's hand went higher, freed Wufei's hair from the binding that held raven strands in a tight ponytail - and Wufei couldn't contain a barely audible gasp of pleasure when feeling the strong fingers massage his scalp carefully. It was delightful; he couldn't come up with any other word for it.

Wufei closed his eyes, relishing the sensations and thinking of the things he'd sometimes wondered about in his childhood: which way do cats purr? Because right now it was exactly what he wanted to do.

Then he felt Trowa's breath on his temple and, after that, a gentle kiss - light, barely perceptible...

"Why?" In Wufei's sleepy voice there was no surprise, just curiosity.

So, he was the first who broke the silence - and felt sorry for it at the next second. The hand on his nape froze, indecisive. Trowa backed away and in his quiet voice there were notes of fear and remorse.

"They say it's... nice."

Wufei understood it; Trowa wanted to help and comfort him but chose the course he didn't know himself. And Wufei's question frightened him, making him think he'd made a mistake. The frail balance was still there, and he had to do something before Trowa shied away from him: one could see the boy wasn't too trusting. Trowa's hand still lay without moving on the back of his head but then it quivered, leaving, and it was the last chance. Wufei caught this withdrawing hand, took it by the wrist and brought in to his lips, kissing it softly.

"They say?" he asked a second later, with the same notes of slight curiosity, this time carefully calculated.

"I don't know," Trowa whispered shyly but already without fear. "I've never..."

Wufei put his arms round Trowa's neck, pulled him closer, without too much force, giving him an opportunity to free himself if he wanted. But Trowa didn't use the opportunity, and wrapped his arms around Wufei's waist, pressing him tighter. Neither of them knew how far the other one was ready to go. At first Wufei kissed Trowa's cheek lightly; it still could be considered a gesture of friendship that left them both an honorable way to retreat. But Trowa turned his head, meeting the next kiss with his lips, and then there were no doubts any more.

Their kiss wasn't deep and passionate - just a gentle caress of lips, and yet when they parted, they both felt they were short of breath. Trowa shivered minutely, without even noticing it. For the first time someone was that close to him, someone *wanted* to be that close, and Trowa hopelessly tried to bring his thoughts in order. He didn't know what to do now and was afraid of spoiling everything with a wrong word or a clumsy movement.

Wufei also had to cope with diffidence but he tried not to show it. He knew if he gave his fear away, it would bother his inexperienced partner. Of course, not that his knowledge, gotten in the relations with the girl, could help him in some way - but at least he wasn't a virgin.

Taking the initiative Wufei continued to kiss Trowa, gently stroking his back and shoulder. After some minutes Trowa cautiously tried to answer the caress, patting Wufei's side. Wufei smiled in satisfaction and trailed the kisses from the cheek to Trowa's neck, pressed his lips to the wildly beating pulse. Trowa gasped, his hand stopped still, and Wufei got completely sure he was the one to take the lead.

He didn't know what and how to do exactly but decided that one guy could somehow figure out how to please the other guy. Watching Trowa's reaction not to make any mistake he slowly slid his hand down, stroking the partner through the cloth of the thin cotton underwear. Now Trowa's breath was like soundless moans; his body tensed as if in fear or... anticipation? Waiting for a moment and making sure that his partner wasn't going to stop him, Wufei shoved his fingers under the rubber band and pulled it down, displacing the last piece of clothes covering Trowa's body. Trowa raised his hips slightly, making Wufei's task easier. Regarding for a moment whether it would be enough just to slip Trowa's boxer to his hips, Wufei decided to take them off after all, so that nothing constrained the other boy. Done with it and having dropped the small item somewhere on the floor, Wufei lay next to Trowa again, face to face, and resumed the kisses. Trowa made a pleased sound in the back of his throat as if he tried to purr as well.

Wufei believed now that everything went as it had to; he reached down with his hand again. The feeling of the other's hardness was something incredible. The erect organ felt in his palm like warm silk wrapped around something taut and alive. A few seconds Wufei spent thinking how to place the hand conveniently; everything was different from caressing himself. Trowa's body arched towards him - he seemed to be glad to any touch. At last Wufei found a right position and started moving his hand up and down along the shaft. He was sure that everyone had his own rhythm and that Trowa would have to move on his own, showing him the right speed.

For a while Trowa just panted, trembling hugely, but then his restraint snapped. He clenched his hands on Wufei's shoulders and his hips started moving, as if on their own accord, pushing him against Wufei's hand.

"Tighter," Trowa whispered between stifled moans, and Wufei squeezed a bit more.

It didn't take long; soon Trowa's gasp came off with a soundless cry and Wufei felt thick warm liquid splash on his hand and belly.

For a few more minutes they lay motionless. Trowa still held Wufei's shoulders with the same force but his breath went quiet little by little. Then Trowa's hands slackened and he moved on the cot, getting more comfortably. Wufei groped under the pillow blindly and found a small piece of cloth, a handkerchief, apparently. He tried to wipe the cooling semen from himself and his partner with this handkerchief and then dropped the stained rag on the floor. The blanket was in their feet, crumpled, and Wufei pulled it up, covering himself and Trowa.

When Wufei embraced him, Trowa stirred and stroked Wufei's thigh with a slightly trembling hand.

"Sleep," Wufei whispered, kissing his temple.

"But you..." Trowa said in a faint voice, gathering the remnants of strength to drive away the sleep and return the favor.

"Sleep," Wufei repeated in the most incredible tone; it was a mixture of tenderness and order.

~Please, Trowa,~ he begged mentally, ~ you understood me so well till this moment! Please understand I've got everything I wanted.~

Trowa sighed and settled in Wufei's arms more comfortably. He fell asleep almost immediately but Wufei stayed awake in the darkness for a few more minutes, not aware of his own smile. After a while he fell asleep as well and if there was time for some thoughts to visit him, these thoughts were about the other boy sleeping in his arms now.

THE END